Saturday, 18 October 2014

Give thanks...

I'm finally getting around to finishing this post, having started it on Thanksgiving weekend.
I have a lot to be thankful for tonight, I think most of us do. A lot of us tend to sound cliche being thankful for our family, our friends, a wonderful meal with said family and there is nothing wrong with that - I am thankful for all of that too! And more...

This past week I spent a lot of time reflecting on the past year and what a year it has been! Without sounding like I'm looking for sympathy - lets just say, you name it all, it has happened. An ice storm, a power outage over Christmas which displaced us, unemployment, learning how to be a working mom, continuing to BE a mom, a move (in winter), deaths, births, marriages, bills - oh so many bills, sickness', emotional challenges... the list goes on. But I am thankful for all of this, both the good and the bad because I have learned so much from it all. It hasn't been easy. (On the other hand, it could have been A LOT worse too!)

Sometimes through those dark times you have to wait for the dust to settle to really see the light in the situation but it's there. Take the 'unemployment' situation for example - without going into extensive detail - it was hard on us and we definitely had to make some major lifestyle adjustments, things we 'wanted' definitely took a back burner, never mind some things we NEEDED took a back burner too. We budgeted, we became frugal (sometimes flat out cheap) and we enjoyed the things we already had. Yes, its hard to believe but we enjoyed those things in our home that we already owned - even if they weren't new, even if they weren't perfect - they were OURS. A lot of us tend to get caught up in thinking that they 'need' something when in fact we don't, what we have is just fine!

I have also learned that there are times in our lives where people we love dearly will test your relationship with them, we have all been there more than once. This has opened my eyes and taught me to be grateful for the experience because it tends to open your eyes to more important things that what might be disagreed upon at that moment. Relationships are challenging, and ever changing.
I once I felt like disagreements with someone would ruin and end said relationship. I have learned however that this is 'normal' and we will continue to grow from it.

I am grateful for all of this - I've learned and I've grown. Every moment is valuable and I will continue to learn and grow.

Our ability to take these experiences in life really form us, they make us who we are and without them we will not grow.

I am thankful for my other half, he makes me laugh, he grounds me, reminds me to have more confidence in myself and see's my strengths when I don't.
I am thankful for my kiddo, she lights up my darkest days and continues to amaze me with her intelligence and ability to be so happy.
I am thankful for my family who has been my rock for so many years. It is from them that I have learned how to be kind and thoughtful, funny and stubborn.
I am thankful for my forever friends, we have been through it all and will continue to stand by each other for another 20+ years.
I am thankful for strangers that post their life trials and tribulations for others to read and relate to, it has made me think deeply about myself and what I have in life. It has also helped me deal with emotion's I wouldn't have otherwise known what to do with.
I am most thankful for me, it's taken a long time, but I finally enjoy my own company, and I am proud of and love who I have become.



"Anger is like driving in a down pour. The way you see things is temporarily altered. It's always best to wait until the rain has stopped, to see things the way they really are." Andrea Ball

Friday, 8 August 2014


Well I'm less than an hour away from being 32. When did that happen?! The last two years have been a blur - but a happy blur at that!
The last few years have been some of my happiest, yet also the most challenging.

Sunday, 23 February 2014

Finding the time...

While my goal was to write a post weekly, that just DIDN'T and won't ever happen. I would love to write daily, I feel like I run through things to write as I'm driving, nursing or cooking but to sit down and actually type something is a different story.

The last few months especially have been a roller coaster in our house, we've been faced with unemployment, teething, insane weather conditions, the power outage leading up to Christmas, back to work (for me), tons of sickness and dealing with one small ass apartment!

Good news is that we are MOVING, yes finally!! And after all this chaos it really makes you appreciate the small stuff. I counting down the days until I have a bedroom door and Molly has a bedroom door... separate kitchen... oh the possibilities!! I get to have a life and normal relationship again!

Our living space since we have been together has been something only a few people I know can understand. Its difficult but amazing at the same time. The location, our landlords, you cannot beat. The size however has created some challenges and difficulties to say the least. It has limited us in what we can do and when - even when it comes to something as simple as talking... don't get me wrong we make noise when Molly is sleeping but we are hesitant to be loud when she is asleep because we want her to STAY asleep.
We don't get to sit on the couch and watch movies when she is in bed because, well, our couch is covered with toys (pretty much) and the volume is at a level that we can't comfortably hear it from there... its something we have grown accustomed to but really these things that most couples take for granted, as they should, just don't happen for us.

Being out here has also been isolating as we cannot have company whenever we want or multiple people/couples for that matter because unless people don't mind standing on sitting on the floor there is NO room to host. Unfortunately this has become an easy thing for me to accept and has driven a wedge between friends and family. The isolation of having a new baby, in itself, is a difficult thing for some and it was definitely a challenge for me; adding the isolation of our location and size of home its been a double whammy.
I'm not trying to be a whiner here but really just reaching out, both trying to help people around me understand what I have been through, why I have been how I have been and to let others know they are not alone if they are feeling the same way or in a similar situation.

I truly believe that this move is going to bring bigger and better things for us as a family, and help me heal from this emotional roller coaster I have been on.

Much love & healing,